Glamorous Disasters by Eliot Schrefer

Author:Eliot Schrefer
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Published: 2006-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter

7

March brings Spring Trip season to Moore-Pike Academy, during which groups of rich girls wander the globe under the protective tutelage of their professors, get some grit under their fingernails, and wash it back out before returning home. Each year, one trip ends up infamous. These notorious episodes in the history of Moore-Pike include the ’00 trip to Los Angeles in which Ariel Pernstein spotted a man jerking off outside her hotel room and Professor Ganz stood in front of the window until he finished, the ’01 trip to Valparaiso during which Victoria Roberts got tequila-induced alcohol poisoning but convinced Señora Mendez that she had simply eaten lettuce from a street vendor, the ’02 trip when Brittany Lyon broke her ankle and was carried up a mountain by a sherpa, ’03’s trip to the Red Sea in which Ariana Burns got her hair caught in her snorkeling mask and slammed into a reef, breaking off a fluorescent chunk of coral and requiring a dozen stitches, and finally the ’04 capstone, when Talia Illich-Murphy smoked in the airplane bathroom over the Pacific and got so nervous that she flushed the toilet while she was sitting on it, the resulting suction causing her to adhere to the seat until the plane landed in Seoul.

Tuscany excitedly narrates these stories to Noah, placing special emphasis on each girl’s name. The key part to note is, clearly, to whom each disaster happened. While Talia Illich-Murphy was causing a ruckus on Korean Airlines, Tuscany moans, she was stuck in D.C. at the stupid National Air and Space Museum.

“The girls are going on the trips next week, right?” Noah asks as they eat their midafternoon snack of imported olives. Or rather, as Noah eats their midafternoon snack and Tuscany sucks on an olive pit.

“Yeah,” Tuscany says.

“There’s no way you could still go?” Noah asks.

“Uh, hello ? I’m not a student there anymore.”

“Okay, okay, I know. But it just seems like such a good opportunity.”

“No, they’re really boring, usually. The teacher like thinks they need to make a big lesson out of everything, like, you know, This rock is called tufa, a volcanic blah blah. Yawn.”

“But if you could, you’d go?”

Tuscany pulls the pit out of her mouth and inspects the wet green felt before continuing. “Oh, yeah, totally. I had so much fun last year. We snuck out to this D.C. club. Everyone there was like, Whoa, who are these girls , ’cuz we went like buck wild. We got back at like four A.M ., and we had to be up at seven-thirty to see some Indian reservation. I like fell asleep and drooled while we listened to some old guy with feathers on his head tell some story about Pocahontas. It was hilarious.”

“Hey, is your mom around today?”

“Beats me.”

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